Erectile Dysfunction

A year ago I quit my steady job, packed two suitcases, and booked a flight to San Francisco. This was my very first account:

"I took the BART into the city from Oakland airport. I exited Civic Center and was squinting my eyes in search of of my friend's silver-blue Lexus when a man saw me dragging my luggage and carrying a somewhat confused look on my face, the look of a foreigner. 'Do you know where you’re going, miss?' I turned to him, smiled sweetly, and announced that I was fine. 'Ok. But be careful here. This isn’t the greatest area.' Just then a drug-pumped bum came stumbling from across the street, swaying back and forth on unstable feet, screaming 'ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION' at the top of his lungs. Ah, I thought, dropping my bags to the ground, out-stretching my arms and breathing in the piss-scented air… home sweet home."

It took less than two weeks to realize that said bum was actually a soothsayer and that I, oh idealistic dreamer from Southern California, was the one with erectile viagra cialis online pharmacy pharmacy.

I couldn't hang. I couldn't keep my head up. I deflated and shrunk and receded into a dark, humorless place and, like the pansy that I am, grabbed my two sacks and slithered away, back to my home down south.

Two months later I tried again and found myself wandering the streets of North Beach under the strain of two suitcases, mumbling to myself in confusion in the rain. Again, erecting a life in this wondrous pleasure palace - one involving a steady job and an adequate apartment - seemed nothing but exhausting and impossible.

And yet there's something about this damn city that always draws me back, that strokes and kneads and whispers sweet nothings until I'm engorged with hope once more. The promise of an explosive time if I can just hold it together for all of five minutes. So, here I am. Again.

Penis analogies. Wow. Not exactly what I pictured my first post in the city to be, but there you have it.

And, in case you were wondering, of course I went to a Raiders game, got into an "altercation" with a fan (otherwise known as a "stupid white trash c*nt"), and had an entire beer unloaded on my head. A little christening, if you will, compliments of the Bay Area.